Sunday, July 31, 2005

Tacos and Morale, What A Concept

To the cheap jerks that run my company:

Listen up. This weekend, I attended the annual Summer Party thrown by my fiancee Isaac's company. Look at how festive the atmosphere is and more importantly, look how happy everyone is...

By the way, what you're looking at is a photo of his company's actual office grounds. There are places for employees to sit outside and see the sun and get some oxygen to their brains. Sun=serotonin. Serotonin=happy.

Even the caterers from Taqueria El Zarape in Montebello were having fun. Here is one of the caterers doing the "I love to make tacos" dance.

There were also free condiments for us to take. They did not charge $0.15 for a lemon wedge or $0.10 for a cup of water like they do at our
nasty hospital food cafeteria.

Best of all, the free catered food was DELICIOUS. Complimentary AND quality food? Imagine that! Succulent carne asada, al pastor and pollo were freshly made and served on two layers of pillowy soft corn tortillas. A few splashes of their fiery salsa roja and a couple squirts of lime and we were in taco heaven. I scarfed these down along with the velvety rich refried beans and fluffy Mexican rice that came on the side. And they were so good I went back for seconds.

Awesome food, live music and great conversation amongst coworkers that actually like each other was made even better by vodka tonics and margaritas from the OPEN bar. Oh, and in case you didn't know, most normal people do have personal lives and families outside of work, so all the employees were encouraged to bring their spouses, significant others, kids, and dogs (yes, dogs!) to the festivities.

So what's the problem, yo? You run a multi-billion dollar company so why can't you stop being cheap bastards and invest a little more in your people? Your stinginess breeds anger and bitterness instead of happiness and teamwork. Take me as an example! Why, I'm sitting here bitching and blogging instead of working.

I'm not asking for immediate change. Just think about it. Take the model and pictorial essay that I just presented to you and think hard about how happy employees can be even more profitable to the company. In fact, go mull it over some kick-ass tacos. Here's the address:

Taqueria El Zarape
2575 Via Campo
Montebello, CA 90640
(323) 838-9405

Yours Truly,

(BTW, I know what the rest of you are saying...just quit yer bitching already and get another job. Rest assured, I'm working on it!)


Kirk said...

Looks alot better than the BS "ice cream socials" and Xmas pancake breakfasts that we get!

Daily Gluttony said...


Oh, you guys get Xmas pancake breakfasts??? Our group gets an Xmas luncheon down in the dungeon auditorium with food catered by our scary cafeteria. We're so lucky huh?

yoony said...

i totally feel you on the cheap company issue. at my dept over 60 people share one fridge and 3'x6' "kitchen" area. at the same time we only have 30 minutes lunch break and not a lot of choices nearby. and cheap ice cream socials. bleh. like ur blog by the way!

MEalCentric said...

You crack me up. I wish you could work here at my firm so we could clown everyone together (and I would be able to eat lunch with someone and take my digital without feeling like a weirdo)

Daily Gluttony said...


Are you sure we don't work for the same place? Ha ha. But I couldn't deal with the 30 min lunches. In the beginning I used to be good and take an hour only but now (unless there's a serious deadline) my lunches average an hour and a half. I have to take advantage somehow!

Hey Mealcentric,

Yeah, there's certain people that I've gone to lunch with who I have to lie to re: the digital pics b/c they don't know about the blog. I'm like, "Yeah, I'm trying to make myself a coffee table book of the great meals that I've had!" They still think I'm a wierdo though.

Anonymous said...

I dread whenever my company has a function.

One Christmas, years ago, they had food catered for our lunch. There was a prime rib carving station, even a chafing dish with coq a vin.

Sounds decent right?


We found out the caterer had absolutely no idea what they were doing. I heard it was their first job ever, and was it ever a fiasco.

The food was slop. It wouldn't qualify for prison grub.

The coq a vin had been clearly made with the cheapest wine possible because the chicken meat had an alarming purplish tint to it...sort of like it was bruised up in a bare knuckle fight and lost.

The prime rib was the worst part. Not only was it dry, it was improperly stored and the next day, half of the company called in sick with food poisoning.

Walk in to our restrooms a few days after that fateful luncheon and you heard painful moanings and explosive diarrhea gurgles and spurts coming from the toilet stalls. A few people were even thinking of suing our company for their gastrointestinal distress!

I felt sorry for the custodial staff that had to clean up after that mess.

To top it all of, a few days later our plumbing burst in one area flooding an entire half a floor with a sewer stench. Apparently this was because those same dumb caterers decided to stuff the office garbage disposal with the uneaten food. This ticking time bomb that was the final kicker to a lamentable (understatement there) Christmas celebration!


And oh yeah. A month afterwards, there was a round of layoffs.

eatdrinknbmerry said...

tacos make me happy.

Daily Gluttony said...


WOW! OK, you're the winner. I think that tops all of our sucky company function stories.


Tacos are great, aren't they?

Denny Swinson said...

There are a few books on the subject, some very