Thursday, November 15, 2007

Now I'm One Of "Those" Girls

Dear Lady,

Please do not decide to go to the bathroom after I had already gone in there and
pee'd out my roasted asparagus lunch. And please do not come out of your stall right when I'm trying to do a rush hand washing job so as to not reveal myself as the "stinky pee girl." That's not nice.

Hugs,
DG

32 comments:

One Food Guy said...

"You smell that? Do you smell that? Asparagus pee, son. Nothing else in the world smells like that. I love the smell of asparagus pee in the morning." -Adapted from Apocalypse Now

unrepeatable said...

HAHAHAHAHA. man. i usually just hide in the stall until there is an all clear. but then there is nothing worse than thinking there is an all clear and popping out on someone fixing the hair ever so silently in the mirror. make some noise, people.

The Guilty Carnivore said...

I've always worn the asparagus pee stench as a badge of honor.

Gyro burp? Escolar-induced oily orange anus discharge? Not so much.

Chubbypanda said...

ROFL.

KirkK said...

Wait, I thought that asparagus pee was something to be proud of.......
Sheesh, no wonder no one invites me to lunch anymore!
Your original post is one of my favorites of all time.

PekoPeko said...

asparagus pee?

i much prefer beet pee. what could me more cool than purple pee?

Peko Peko

Foodeater said...

Asparagus pee is the best! Embrace it :)

Wired Lady said...

where did you go?

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Nancy said...

Are you ever coming back? I guess not, its been too long. Bye and thanks for the memories.

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Cheers.

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Anonymous said...

You ever eat a bunch of beets and think you have blood in your urine? Now there's a thrill. BTW, I'm so dense that I didn't know what that asparagus scent was until my early thirties.

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Lavender said...

YUCK! Bleaaaah! That stuff makes me ralph!

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Meal Muse said...

I know this isn't your latest blog (or post, for that matter) but dude...I had to comment. I love people who are willing to admit that asparagus makes your pee smell. Word to your honesty, sister.

P.S. - I was at Cube yesterday...big thanks to you all, I learned so much!

-Katharine

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Abortion is part of the decay inflicted by the gods in the latter half of the 20th century as we approach the Apocalypse::::
- Free sex
- Explosion in gay sex
- Abortion
- Legalized greed/immorality
- The internet. Whereas TV was a phenominally destructive new temptation on the landscape it doesn't hold a candle to the internet. Some people will waste their whole lives.

So many people don't care about global warming. They don't care about the Federal deficit/debt (outside of partisanship) and they don't care earning $400k for an $80,000/year job will eventually bankrupt the country. They have awarded themselves $400k pay and retirement packages, loading up their friends on the payroll during the boom 90s through the real estate bust while all services which the program were intended to fund now get cut to pay for it.
These people are often common public university labor. Not Ivy League, not private university.
This labor isn't good enough to command the salaries they are earning. And they understood this when they applied to the public university they settled on.
You can't expect a top-tier salary with a second-rate education.
They think they are going sometime during/at the end of this life, and disregard the poor souls who are left behind.
These are the people who will be here in the United States when bankruptcy is declared and society deteriorates into chaos. And they will deserve the anarchy which ensues.

Continuing the push for privatization, reinforced and supported recently with enormous public sector salaries and retirement packages.
Once achieved the gods will utilize the corruptive predisposition of the private sector economy, as seen with the sub-prime/bailout fiasco, to initiate economic catastrophy and initiate the bankruptcy proceedings of the United States.
Whether the cure for cancer/diseases or the permanant resolution of economic misery, before the gods remove these motivations to pray we will experience an inordinate deluge of each element, with economic misery being perhaps the dissallusion of the united States with bankruptcy.

The gods used the Italians to ruin life in the 20th century.
The gods used the Italians to ruin life in A.D. with The Church.
The Church controlled Western Civilization. As the largest land owner in Europe they controlled the monarchies. They were responsbile for slavery, revenge for African invasion and rape of Italy. They created religious discontent, ultimately leading to the disfavored dumping ground known as the United States.
And each generation of these Italians were sold on "earning", only to be reincarnated as a lesser life form subsequently, punishment for their evil.
"The West Bank, where the end of the world will begin." With xtianity.

A good example of societal decay and how the gods manage their culpability is birth defects. In the past the gods occassionally punished people by divinely creating birth defects in the womb. Now, with the advent of biotechnology, they tempt the mother with "earning" and compell her to take a substance in utero which deforms the fetus, dispelling the gods of blame and future obligation to the victim. Incidentally, they use liberal policies to pay for these individuals, ensuring a lifetime wasted, for they have no hope for progress. Too often in the past they were mercifully killed immediately and brought back without this handicap, allowing them opportunity to resume their journey of ascention into heaven.
The gods are washing their hands of culpability. The gods are washing their hands of Planet Earth.

You don't want to get involved in the abortion battle. You're not "earning". The gods will use this tool to cast people into Damnation. Nothing will save them. Stop wasting your time on others and work on fixing your own problems. If you don't make enough progress to be granted good parents when reincarnated you will waste your next life too.

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